Making Jam...trying to avoid "jammin'" puns.

Despite the fact that I have always lived in an urban setting, I have a freakishly active hunting-gathering instinct alive in the backwards and questionable depths of my psyche. U-pick berry farms recently opened their fields for harvest, meaning that it was high time for me to get my elbows out and put all of those hard working migrant labourers to shame.
Although my roomie and I put in a solid effort, our gluttonous berry consumption barely put a dent in the 27lbs of fruit I brought home. I ended up processing the rest into jam, jelly, and syrup for Italian sodas. Jam production can be a pretty simple affair: fruit, sugar, and pectin will do just fine. However, I maintain that my strawberry jam is well worth the extra effort and is the best I've had to date - not too sweet, and deep in flavor thanks to the aroma of vanilla and tannins of red wine.

Sweet Baby Jesus, This is Good Strawberry Jam

-8 cups strawberries
(the riper the better!)
-2 cups red wine
(I used a merlot, but you can use whatever you want)
-1 vanilla bean
-2 cups sugar
-2 packets of no-sugar-needed pectin
(I used the Bernardin stuff)
-2 tsp ascorbic acid, aka powdered vitamin C
(or 1/4 cup lemon juice, see addendum)

Wash+lop the leafy tops from your strawberries. I like big chunks of fruit in my jam so I just quarter the berries with a paring knife. If you like it pulpy then smush them in reasonably sized batches with a potato masher.
Add the wine, sugar, and vanilla into a large pot over high heat. If you've never used a vanilla bean before, just split it lengthwise with a sharp knife and scrape the blade across the split pod to get out that black, sticky goodness. It may ressemble the tar scraped out of an old bong, but I prefer using this stuff to bottled extract any day of the week. Whisk the mixture up a little to help break apart the vanilla and boil it all over high heat for 5-7 minutes. After this period of time you can check out the viscosity; the syrup should very lightly coat the back of a spoon.

Dump in the remainder of the ingredients and bring the mixture back to a boil. Keep it at a rolling boil for 1 or 2 minutes , then switch off the heat. Your jam should still be kind of runny at this point because it is still hot. If you are doubtful of its structural integrity just spoon a few drops onto a saucer, stick it in the freezer for a minute or two, and then check to see if it has gelled to your liking. If it hasn't for some weird reason, you can always add some more pectin to the pot (just make sure you bring it back to a boil for another minute or two before declaring it finished). Make sure you give the stuff a taste; if it isn't sweet enough for you proceed to gradually add in more sugar to taste.

Fill sterilized jars (see addendum for jar sterilization), and keep in a place away from direct sunlight for the months to come. If you find that you've got more liquid than fruit, just jar the excess as jelly. Great on toast - EVEN GREATER ON BRIE CHEESE!!!

Addendum for jar sterlization and ascorbic acid

You can usually find ascorbic acid (powdered vitamin C) in most health food stores and (duh) vitamin shops. I use it as a colour preservative, but it you don`t have any handy just use lemon juice or leave it out altogther. If you choose the latter, your jam will taste fine but might turn a sort of brownish colour after a few weeks.

Prior to filling, put your jars and lids in a big pot of water (enough to completely cover them) and boil the shit out of them for 10-15 minutes. Keep them warm right up until you fill them! Once you fill a jar, stick on the lid and let it sit for ...uh....some arbitrary number of hours. If the lid of the jar sucks into a slightly concave profile once it has cooled you`re all done! If for some reason they don`t vacuum seal, just boil the filled and sealed jars in water once again (with enough water to cover them as in the photo) for a few minutes and allow them to cool - they should seal the second time around.

I`m going to level with you though, I got lazy this year. I just ran the damn things through my dishwasher with some leftover sani-brew I had from cider making, and all seems to have gone just fine.