Cheesy Sea-Things

Every month I cycle through highly predictable waves of stocking my fridge with treats, and then struggling to empty it of said treats. I am pretty ingredient ADHD, so this has become a regular thing; the next recipe is a product of this nonsense. Withering citrus fruit, salvageable cheese, and near-freezer burnt seafood were combined in a desperate attempt to spare things from my garbage can. I know the thought of creamy, tangy sea-bugs may not appeal to everybody, but this seriously takes about 5 minutes to make. You should try it even if you aren't as silly about resource acquisition and expenditure as I am.

Blue Cheese and Citrus Shrimp

- 300-ish grams shrimp
-1 bunch black kale (about 2 cups chopped)
-1/2 lemon: juice and zest
-1/2 orange: juice and zest
-1 tbsp butter
-1+ tbsp blue cheese
-pepper to taste

You'll notice that I don't use any salt in this. That's because blue cheese is insanely salty and does the job of seasoning just fine. Also, I list 1+ tbsp of blue cheese because it was probably closer to two...I didn't really measure (me lazy) but I included a photo below for comparison with my finger and a rough tablespoon of butter.

Zest + juice the citrus. You'll need about 4 tbsp of juice - equal parts lemon and orange. Mince up the zest so it's nice and small.

Remove stiff stems from kale and slice into ribbons.

Now that you've got your stuff together, warm up a pan on high heat and melt the butter. Add the shrimp and grind on some pepper. Cook for about a minute, until pink on one side. Seriously, it shouldn't take more than a minute. There are few things worse than overcooked shrimp, so flip those things over quickly. Once you turn the shrimp over, toss the kale and citrus zest on top.

After another minute, give it all a stir and deglaze the pan with the citrus juice. Crumble the cheese over the whole thing and take the pan off the heat to allow the cheese to melt for another minute.

Toss to coat everything in creamy goodness and you're done. This is best eaten right away - not just because your fridge could use the space, but leftover and reheated "creamy, tangy sea-bugs" sound fucking terrible.